In the weeks leading up to marrying my husband, I read some different books that were given to me such as, "Sacred Union" and "Endowed From On High". I went through Temple Preparation in my student ward. I felt as though I was doing a final cram session before the big test. I had a testimony of the importance of temple marriage and that families can be together forever. Temple marriage and sealing is the key to getting to be with our Heavenly Father.
Our wedding day was the very beginning of the true test; journey to return to Him. I am learning every day about how to have a covenant marriage and not just a contractual marriage. I am so grateful for the Holy Temples. The temple reminds me of what I and my husband are striving for.
Less than a year into marriage my husband and I decided that we wanted to start having children. I was able to get pregnant and of course the anticipation began to build. We were so excited. I began to realize that being a wife and mother was really all I wanted. I had always been, and still am to some degree, afraid to voice that, because the world tells us that those things are on the side of what we are to become and do. I was so excited to be able to dedicate my life to being a mother and wife. Just before reaching 15 weeks pregnant I had a miscarriage.
This was so hard and I could hardly look at my husband, because surely he was upset with me, didn't want a wife who couldn't have a baby, etc. There are so many things that went through my mind at that time. The main thing on my mind was that I was SO grateful to be married in the temple, to be sealed to Rybot for time and all eternity. I knew that all that is not fair or right in the world will be made right, because of the atonement of Jesus Christ.
Those few months after this, was the first big trial during our marriage. I remember a few months before I had gotten pregnant; Rybot and I had been talking about how wonderful everything was going in our lives. We talked about how when things are going too good you wonder when the trial in your life is going to show up. Well, it did show up. Rybot stood by me, held me when I couldn't hold it together, patiently waited for me to be able to talk.
Thinking back on that time, I think of how Rybot exemplified a man in a covenant marriage. He lifted me up, shared his testimony with me, loved me and he does that every day. There are distinct things that make a marriage covenant and not just contractual.
What I will do to be sure I have a covenant marriage:
- Pray for my husband
- Be kinder
- Be patient
- Serve my husband
- Study my scriptures
- Repent of my wrong doings
- Serve my children and teach them right from wrong
- Be joyous in my husband's accomplishments
- Be a listener