I am guilty, guilty, guilty! I often find myself having little annoyances over the things that others do, things that my husband does. When I have these annoyances I dwell on them, nitpick about them, and allow them to steal and suck the joy out of my relationship with my husband. Former president of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, Ezra Taft Benson, gave an address entitled, "Beware of Pride". He taught of how The Book of Mormon has a main point for us to pick up on. Pride is what will destroy all of our relationships. It destroys our relationships with friends, family, and with the Lord.
He told how pride is competitive. Pride is very concerned with being above others and assuming a fight position. There is absolutely no love for our neighbor when we are prideful. I can change the way that I view the things that bother me. If I pause and think about the things that bug me and think about how I love my husband, I no longer want to say anything. Honestly, I am letting Satan rule my feelings when I want to point out random little things that bug me. In the book, "Drawing Heaven into Your Marriage" by, H. Wallace Goddard, PhD. there is an example of a young wife who has read that it is a good idea to sit down and share the little things that bother you about your spouse and let them give back similar information. They tried it in their home and she began by telling her husband that the way he eats grapefruit is wrong, annoying, and she just won't be able to stand it forever. He needed to change. Then, it was his turn. He told her there was nothing he wanted to present to her that was bothering him.
She felt so horrible and silly. I feel that same way as I have reviewed the things that I have dwelt on and tried to change in Rybot. He is not doing anything wrong. I am being prideful, trying to control things around me when all I need to do is repent. In Goddard's book he says, "In fact, any time we feel irritated with our spouses, that irritation is not an invitation to call our spouses to repentance but an invitation to call ourselves to repent. We are irritated because of our own lack of faith and humility" (p. 77).
So, I can repent when I feel irritated, I can humble myself, I can focus on the love I have for my spouse and for others. Goddard continued, "when I do feel loving, irritations roll off my soul like water on a duck's back" (p. 83). Through love and continual repentance I can be innocent, innocent, innocent! I can focus on loving Rybot. Love wins and pride loses. Every time.